Art by Marianne Monto

Originally published 3rd of October 2022

When I was younger, it was still a bit unclear what kind of person I will grow up to be. To be honest, I’m still a bit unsure what kind person I will grow up to be. Either I will become that cranky grandma, who glares at people for daring to breath at my direction or super laid back “don’t give a fuck” about social norms and I’m by the way your new best friend. I really don’t know which way my essence will distil. Could go either way, could come a weird mix between. I may be cranky, but I will make you a batch of muffin patter, as it’s tastier uncooked.

I don’t think people really change, unless they recognize the need themselves and put active effort into it. Worries keep worrying, meddlers keep meddling and assholes keep holing away. The difference is, that by time that feature will enhance, it will become more clear and crisp. All the years of practice are finally paying off! 

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I have sometimes gone water running in the morning to the swimming hall. There I have bobbed along with grannies and occasional grandpa (fyi, grandpas: If you wanna pick up ladies in a more mature age, water run track is like shooting fish in the barrel. They will flock to you like dolphins on a fish) and listen to the conversations. Daytime drama has nothing on them! The gossiping, scheming, petty arguments… It’s amazing! It’s actually really similar to teens. The biggest difference is, teens don’t yet know how to properly control their emotions and reactions, grandmas don’t bother to control those. And let me tell you, grandmas have no shame.